Thursday, April 8, 2010

"Who's this guy???" - The first contest of this blog!

Summary of the post, for lazy readers: Just say which 3 football players are represented on the 3 pictures of this post! Come on, it's so easy!

The real post: That's right, the blog is new and I need to show it to the world, so how about some interactivity between me, the God who created this blog, and you, the mortals who read it and soon will love it? That's why I'm gonna get the first contest of this blog started, and it's the legendary... "Who's This Guy???"!!!

"So, how does it work?", you ask. Well, see that image up there, in the beggining of the post? And see these two down here? Ok, you're gonna have to comment this post and guess who those 3 football players are. First one to write the right answer wins the contest, and soon will be rewarded for that in a very special way, bigger than money can ever be (you'll see...)! Multiple answers from the same user won't be accepted, except the first one.

And... I guess that's it! So participate and make your mark on the history of this blog by commenting and trying to get the right answer! The correct solution and, of course, the winner, will be announced very soon, so if you participate don't forget to bookmark this blog so you can come back later and see if you got it right! I hope you like the first ever "Who's this guy???" competition!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Results of the Champions League quarter-finals (and commentary, of course...)!!!

So, today's matches are officially over, and I can proudly say both my predictions were right on the winner, wrong on the result... which means... football is very unpredictable! So now I'm gonna comment the games...

Barcelona hammer Arsenal with four goals from Messi

That's right, my friends, the Argentine Messi, aka The Flea, was unstoppable today, as he scored four goals to assure his side's victory! Arsenal scored first by Bendtner but Barcelona came back quickly with a powerful shot from Messi and then the little guy kept on doing an impressive display adding 3 to his tally and becoming the best goalscorer of the UEFA Champions League this year, so far. But I still don't like Messi, because he's ugly, and noone hates him. I mean, look at Cristiano Ronaldo, and Beckham, and stuff, all considered great players, they all have people who hate him, but Messi doesn't! Why must that be? It's because he is ugly! Not too ugly, but relatively ugly! People always envy the good looking players so all you hear from them is that they suck, and are overrated and this and that, but Messi, nothing, he's great, he's great... You know why? Because he is ugly! Ronaldinho was the same too, who hates Ronaldinho? Damn you ugly people (I'm not one...). Don't you ugly people come complaining no one likes you ever again, you hear me? Ever again!

Inter goes through CSKA by 1-0 to proceed to the semifinals

After a 6 minute opener free-kick from Sneijder, in which, by the way, the keeper Akinfeev did what the portuguese people call a "chicken", or a "duck" (what the fuck, is it a chicken or a duck after all, might as well be a monkey), well, after that goal the CSKA players lost their minds because they had to score three to win and so they never managed to come back, and Inter still had a few chances to score but wasted them all. A black guy named Odiah (no, I'm not a racist) went on at 14 minutes of the first half just to be sent off at 49 minutes for getting two yellow cards. Nice going, man! Keep up the good work!

And that's it. Today I only wrote news and stuff but I must say: I don't like it. I used to have a great blog and it didn't talk about nothing at all. In these two posts, let me tell you people, I was too damn serious. Yeah, a little bit of bullshit here and there, but not enough. So please bookmark this blog because from now on I'm gonna try to write really trully meaningless stuff that doesn't make any sense at all! And contests and stuff, people always like that kind of shit.

So goodbye, and don't forget to do the moonwalk before you go to bed (See? This is what I'm talking about!).

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Today starts the second leg of the Champions League quarter-finals! Hooray!

So, the second post of this futurely fabulous blog will be about the upcoming Champions League quarter-finals (they're, like, 35 minutes away, so maybe I'm being stupid by writing this post now, but whatever anyway, because TODAY IS THE 6TH OF APRIL!!! (think about the meaning of this day for some seconds then keep reading)). We're gonna have two amazing games: Barcelona VS Arsenal and CSKA Moscow VS Inter Milan. So I'm gonna analyse these two clashes... right now!... no, wait a minute... 1... 2... no, not now... NOW!

Barcelona VS Arsenal

The second leg of this game, after the first hand ended 2-2, is going to be played at the Nou Camp. If I was one of those people who make stupid and silly jokes I would say it was the No Camp because there's no camp and they're going to play in the street or at someone's house('s...) backyard or something like that, but I am not going to make that ridiculous joke, because it is very lame.
Because Barcelona scored two away goals, they are in advantage. And they're big favourites on everyone's opinion, because they've been playing very nice football and stuff, and have their best squad available. Arsenal suck, because they're ARSE+ANAL, an 8 year old kid with very bad taste for jokes would say... But of course I'm not an 8 year old kid, so I'm going to say Arsenal has the lower hand (I hope this expression exists... or is it the upper foot?), because they don't have some of their key players like Arshavin and Fabregas, a friend of mine told me. If they do and I'm wrong, blame it on my friend. He's not really my friend actually, just an acquaintance, I only hang around with him so he can lend me money when I need some (he never asks for it back and he forgets stuff very quickly). So I predict a Barcelona victory by 2-1, and they shall happilly go through to the semis.


Most people would say "Inter is gonna win fo' sho'", but let me tell you, my black friends (no, I'm not a racist, you are, who says is who is), CSKA have a very good chance still, despite having lost 1-0 in the first hand/leg/whatever. That's because the synthetic grass on their pitch is a kind of terrain Inter is not used to playing in, plus it's cold as (penguin) shit in Russia, and while the CSKA players are used to these temperatures, the Inter Milan team is not. Still, Inter's got the best players, the best reputation, and a great coach in José Moutinho, plus they're very good at playing defensively. I think it will be a boring game, but with the home advantage, CSKA will be able to grab an unsufficient (hope that word exists...) 2-1 win over the Italian side.

Which means I, like everyone with half a brain (but I have a full brain, scanned it and everything), predict an exciting, or not, because it already happenned this year, encounter between Barcelona and Inter Milan.

Well, I guess that's it, my footie friends (I'm gonna think about an even gayer name to call you next time)! So now let the ball roll, or something like that...

Stay tuned on this amazing blog for more amazingly epic opinions and sharp-eyed toothbrushing predictions, and stuff about football too!

PS: Oh, great, the Inter game already finished. Damn those Russian early games... Why must those Russian idiots be different than anybody else? Just kidding, I love Russians. Don't bomb me please.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Hello and welcome to this great blog, the bestest football blog ever created! "So what is this blog about?", you might ask, in that silly voice that you always do. And I answer "Oh this is a superb blog about subway tickets", but then you will say "That is rubbish! You are lying!", and I shall say "You are right indeed...".
The truth is even though I'm a truly great English speaker I still haven't fulfilled all my true potential, so maybe i won't be able to be as great as I really am, even though it should be enough for this magnificent blog to be the best blog ever.
The blog will be about everything I want to say about football and it's interveninee... intervinents, i mean, intervenients, and stuff.
And I guess that's it for this amazing first post that noone's ever gonna read unless this blog became really famous and you are now reading this because you're a great fan of the blog (in the future) and wanted to come back to see how it all began. In that case, let me tell you, my friend from the future, that yes, I knew my blog would be this famous, even when I was writing this embrionary post, I knew one day people like you would be coming back to see the roots of this amazing project. Thank you for making me great then, mere mortal.
So goodbye and keep worshipping my blog and contemplating its incredible evolution.